THE AWAY END - STAMFORD BRIDGE 31-3-08
John Powls

John Powls

The Build Up To The Game

By common consent the Derby game was dire. Not the Hammers’ ex-Barcodes crocked midfielder, just "instantly forgettable" according to Gate (hmm, may be Dyer after all…).

Three points is three points however and represent another step closer to safety. Two more wins – particularly against the right teams – would do it.

But we all know better than to count our chickens with Boro. And before we get to the games against ‘the right teams’ - Notlob and The Mackems - there was the small matter of Chelski followed by ManUre and then Spurs.

What chance that the Boro that turned up at Villa Park and The Emirates would get some more unexpected points from this game and the two following? It’s still squeaky bum time and likely to stay so for a few weeks yet – at least.

On the websites this week, aside from lamenting the direness of the Derby game, we indulged in a spot of ‘payback’ schadenfreude over Mascherano’s sending off.

There was unanimity that the FA should extend his ban and then add on another game after The Scousers appealed the extension. It won’t happen though – he plays for one of the ‘Big Four’.

In the International Friendlies (what a waste of space) week we concerned ourselves that Boro players returned fit and able to be ready for Chelski.

It looked as though the eight called up had come through unscathed with Tuncay, Schwarz and Johnno turning in decent performances and Stewie doing okay in a poor Eng-er-lund showing.

On the way to Stamford Bridge Phil and I discussed Stewie. The more we have watched him play, the more we believe that his best position might be inside one from the wing in the role that Bolo used to play for Boro.

If we ever get safe this season it might be worth playing a game or two with him in that role and Johnno on the wing. Or perhaps as part of a narrow midfield three with The Shawkster or The Boat and O’Neil.

If it was a three we could then use Tuncay and Aliadiere either side of Alves or Mido up front.

Talking of Mido, it seemed that he had finally succumbed to carrying the weight of Greggs' sausage rolls and hernia’d himself. Maybe he should have let Rocky carry his share of the order.

It seemed he may miss the rest of the season. He and Rocky were already ruled out of this one and it didn’t look as though Huth would make it back to play against his old side.

It was difficult to know how Avram Grant would react to Chelski’s last week. They would be up after the win against The Gunners and fancying themselves to take the Premiership if ManUre slipped.

But they have had virtually all their squad on International duty and they have a big away game in Europe next week.

Would he rotate or play a ‘weakened’ side against Boro? Arsenal’s ten man late, late show at the Reebok and ManUre’s result meant they had no leeway.

Saturday’s results relegated Derby with Fulham and Notlob slipping badly. A point at Chelski would be great for Boro’s prospects of staying up.

As the game approached I liked less and less the bullish comments from the Boro camp. As Gate himself said they don’t do over-confidence well and the best sort of confidence is ‘quiet’ – particularly before a game.

But good old Lawro hadn’t let us down – he backed us for a drubbing!

The bright, warm Spring day that greeted us in West London turned out, as usual, to be the best thing about the Stamford Bridge experience.

Despite the Russian money and the fact that everything there is mega expensive (tickets are fifty percent more than any other London Away End, as are the ritual gristleburgers with cheese and onion) there is an aura of ‘cheap’ about the whole thing.

That must have put some folks off because The Away End was barely half full. Some Chelski fans told us on the tube after the game that they had been surprised at how many empty spaces there had been in their seats, including regular attending season ticket holders being absent.

The Away End had its fair share of Tuncay’s Fenerbahce fan club and together we made up in noise what we lacked in numbers.

Grant sent out his strongest team with only a couple of the regulars missing through injury. Gate went same again.

The Game

This is the hardest ground to come to in the Premiership and get something. You have to play very well and Chelski have to have an off day. The latter was certainly true for this match but Boro weren’t good enough to get anything although a point, at least, was certainly there for the taking.

Robbed? No, we mugged ourselves. Our problems were the same old, same old. We couldn’t score, we were sloppy in central midfield, we had no creativity apart from Stewie and we struggled with crosses into our box.

“You get two or three chances, maximum, at places like this and you have to take them,” said Gate afterwards. Boro had more than three but failed to take any.

Boro started the game at a quarter to two. Unfortunately, Chelski kicked off at half past one when the ref blew the whistle. By the time the Reds had woken up from our ‘have the clocks changed?’ torpor, Chelski were already ahead by one and it could have been more.

On five, Boro gave away a free kick that Bridge floated towards the edge of our box. We were marking zones. Yet again, ‘zones’ failed to connect with the header and score but Carvalho, who we didn’t bother marking, did.

Giving Chelski a lead at Stamford Bridge isn’t clever but Boro did their best to give them a bigger one.

Skippy did a Scissorhands and fumbled a long range effort from Drogba but fortunately no-one in blue followed in.

Gate said later that in that first half Boro looked as though they ‘had come to admire Chelsea and swap shirts at the end.’ How right he was.

Joe (‘E’s got a big fat ‘ead) Cole tormented Tayls down their right wing. Tayls looked distinctly out of sorts and off the pace, reflecting his long spell out. The supply kept coming into the Boro box but Drogba and Kalou kept missing chances when it was easier to score.

Boro offered very little going forward. Despite the presence of his Fenerbahce fan club, Tuncay was anonymous. As was Aliadiere.

Despite the graft from O’Neil, The Boat and Catts in midfield, there was precious little quality and too many bad passes and give-aways. This kept Boro on the back foot.

Yet again, the only creative quality and drive came from Stewie.

The sunshine seemed to be turning everything and everyone quieter and soporific. As the play dulled, the already snoozing Chelski crowd lulled themselves into near silence. This left the field open for The Away End who kept up the raucous din all the way through, ripping the p**s out of all the Chelski fans and players.

It was the most entertaining thing on show.

Gate said later that he got into Boro at half time and told them not to leave the game with regrets and that he changed the shape.

For the first ten of the second half no change was evident. Joe (‘E’s a sniper’s dream, ‘im) Cole continued to maraud and Drogba threatened.

But gradually Boro got into it. Tayls improved and started to feed Stewie who got at their back line more and we began to make a game of it, pushing Chelski back.

Alves replaced the ineffective Tuncay, who got warm applause from the Turkish fans, and the chances began to come regularly.

And just as regularly, Boro spurned them with Alves electing himself ‘Spurner In Chief’. In the space of a few minutes he missed a header from a great Stewie cross which was eerily like the one he shunned against Sheffield. United.

Then, he chased down a long pass out of defence by The Boro Beckenbauer. Cudicini, who was shaky all day, seemed favourite when he raced thirty yards out of his goal but, unaccountably, over-ran the ball, leaving the Brazilian in the clear.

It was a distance out but it was also a gaping open goal which he contrived to miss, hitting the upright.

From another cross he then contrived to hit the bar with a header from four yards when it must have been easier to score. In the ensuing melee The Boro Beckenbauer forced the ball goalwards and it came off the bar again and dropped to the hapless Aliadiere.

The Frenchman belied the deft touch he showed to score at The Emirates by blazing high and wide from three yards.

Spurning disease was clearly catching. As Boro pushed up, Chelski began to get the odd breakaway and, despite the Boro backline being back to its best, they fashioned some chances.

Sean Wright-Philips caught the contagion passed on by Alves and missed two sitters while Kalou forced a fine save from Schwarz.

With O’Neil off and Stewie on the right, Johnno was doing well down the left. One of a series of crosses struck a defender on the arm. It looked a nailed on penalty from where we were but the replays later showed that it wasn’t the sort you get given when you’re away.

Chelski showed their experience over the last few minutes and saw them out with little more difficulty. The Away End gave Boro a generous send off reflecting the second half of the second half performance.

Later…

The ease with which Phil and I got the tube afterwards indicated how many had drifted away early or weren’t there in the first place. The Chelski fans we travelled with agreed they were fortunate to get the win and that they hadn’t played well.

On MotD later that was the view of the presenters, pundits and Grant as well. The Monday papers chimed in.

But everyone also agreed that we should have done better to have taken advantage of Chelski’s lapses. Everyone – except perhaps Gate – focused on Alves’ failures in front of goal. For Phil and I, to say the least, the jury is still very much out.

“I thought Afonso was a threat when he came on, it was the sharpest he has been for us," Gate said in his post-match interview. Damning with faint praise, Gate?

“The first one he created for himself and did everything right (not right on both counts, Gate). Obviously it was galling to see it come off the post. Probably the free header was the best chance, where he missed the target, but that's going to happen (what, every time he gets one, Gate?). He will get his match sharpness and he will score goals for us (yes, but when, Gate?)."

He seemed a bit more robust in this game than he has done before but he can still look ungainly and lacking in the sort of balance that a top striker should have. We need to see him in a run of games and Phil and I believed that he should start the next couple, at least.

The Barcodes win at Spurs didn’t improve our demeanour because it took The Skunks above us and it will make our task at White Hart Lane in a fortnight much tougher.

We have to nail our chances in the next couple of weeks if we are to get anything from ManUre and Spurs otherwise we will go into the crunch game with Notlob still on the points we are on now and likely, closer to them in the league.

Still very much squeaky bum time.

‘Yerjokin’aren’ya’ Quotes of the Week

“Part of the price you pay for getting to a game on the Easter weekend. As we struggled away from The Riverside after the Derby game for the long drive home in the snow, I suddenly discovered I’d got Sat-Nag. Nothing to do with Garmin, just my Mrs. Sat beside me, Nagging. She can’t even read a map.”
My mate Jono suffers for his ‘pleasures’.

The Away End will be back after the Spurs game on 12 April.

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John Powls is a published poet with five books of his work in print. He is a regular performer of his work at major literary festivals and exhibitions in the UK and America, often working with musicians, painters with photographer Carol Ballenger.

Check out Red Shoes 250 for more of John Powls, right here.

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